Saturday, 5 January 2013

Men Aren't the Enemy

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This piece is difficult for me to write for one very good reason. It's aimed at a certain type of single woman and I'm married. I'm fully aware that my relationship status makes me almost as much of an enemy as the male of the species, but I want to write a little bit about the issues they're facing and allowing themselves to suffer.

The type of singleton that I refer to is the man-hater.

First things first, I am in no way suggesting that anyone out there is unjustified in their hatred for the men who have done them wrong. I'm sure they deserve every ounce of venom that is directed at them, but I'm seeing an awful lot of 'tarring with the same brush' going on, and I personally believe that some single women are limiting their own potential for happiness.

Men truly are not the enemy. There are some very bad men who will hurt the women that they're supposed to love but this is not limited to just their gender. There are also some very bad women who will cheat, beat and leave their lovers. But there is also a whole world of wonderful people out there.

I'm sure some are reading this and thinking that it's easy for me to harp on about happiness and relationships, but of course life hasn't always been so rosy for me either. I've been involved with the nasty types myself but I've always been aware that, just because that man was a bad egg, doesn't mean that the next one will be. In fact, the men that have hurt me have made me who I am and played a big part in where I am now. I know exactly what I want from a relationship and I have no qualms about making that very clear. My husband knows exactly what I am willing to tolerate. However, it has also taught me that we are all only human and there are some mistakes that I would absolutely forgive. This doesn't mean that he takes advantage of the fact because, and this is key, he is a good person.

Good people are everywhere. Male or female shouldn't come into it. So, you've been hurt in the past? That doesn't mean that it is going to happen in every single relationship that you embark on. Of course it will happen in some, but that's just the risk that you take when you let yourself be happy. And that's the thing, isn't it? You have to let yourself be happy and, in order to do so, you have to let yourself feel. To feel you have to leave yourself open to being hurt.

So give the menfolk a chance. Don't let the few bad men you've encountered damage the entire reputation of the bunch. They're really not so bad.

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